It was just another rainy November evening in Canada's capital. A handful of friends have gathered to mock and entertain one another while playing video games. An opportunity to score a ride home presents itself, so I quickly collect my coat and head for the door. I feel a sudden urgency to find somewhere to sit. I've had headrushes all my life. I consider them punishment for being so tall. I'm half way out the door when it happens. It sounds like a screen door was slammed next door.
Have you ever watched the rain fall from a worm's-eye view? It's mesmerizing. Under other circumstances I'd spend more time enjoying the view, but I have a ride to catch. "Dude, are you okay", is all I can hear over the rain. I realize that I am on the ground, folded up like a rusty old lawn chair. Rather then focusing on what happened, I brilliantly decide that standing is more important! My ride tries to help me to my feet but I get as far as kneeling. "I need to sit down again."
The ordeal still has not sunk in. I crawl a few meters back inside to get out of the rain. Lying flat on my back I feel fine. I'm just tired. "I'll be fine in the morning."
I'm awoken by the desire to answer nature's call yet I'm unable to. All attempts at moving lead to the same fruitless sofa I somehow managed to crawl to during the night. Feeling clever I spot scissors and an empty two-liter plastic bottle within arms reach. I make short work of one end, and chuckle as I awkwardly use my makeshift loo. "I'm so sorry! It was the bottle or your sofa!! PS, can you call me an ambulance?"
Conclusion
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